lol! the happy bubbe: I am Tired

the happy bubbe

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I am Tired

I’m Tired….
I am tired because I went to bed at 11:30 PM and woke up at 4:13 am

I am tired because I can only dream about fires and people hacking off little pieces of me for so long.

I am tired because I have lived in a Family of Lies (Yes that was a Dad movie) for so long that the truth is never accepted without proof but the lie is.

I am tired of being told “I already heard it so I don’t want to talk about it with you.”

I am tired of being told “I don’t want to take sides”, and than they do.

I am tired of believing the best in people only to have them assume the worst about me.

I am tired of reaching out only to have my arm ripped off and my heart ripped out.

I am tired of defending myself when I don’t even know there is a battle waging.

I am tired that introspection and certainty are determined to be waffling and deception.

I am tired of hurting for those that seek only to hurt me

I am tired of every nice gesture being turned into an attack or a vengeful act.

I am tired of the disgust I see on Mike’s face because I care what others think about me


I don’t want to care about where some one lives

I don’t want to care about who someone visits

I don’t want to care who is sober this week.

I don’t want to care who has someone to help them during their recovery

I don’t want to care about houses burning

I don’t want to care about sister parties that can never have all the sisters because we are so hateful to one another

I don’t want to care because I don’t want to cry anymore

But I do care and I do cry and that just makes me tired all over again

posted by bubbebobbie at 7:23 AM

1 Comments:

  • "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
    ---Dr. Seuss

    By Blogger Heather, at 5:13 PM  

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